And So I Found Happiness.

Today I...

Woke up

Went on a run

Watched the sun rise

Wiggled my toes in the sand

Received a box of chocolates

Felt the sun on my face

Ate a PB&J sandwich

Talked to my seester,

instead of paying attention in class

Felt the rain on my face

Had a gray day

Watched a french movie

Listened to Regina, Christmas music,

and the latest music from home

Talked to friends from home,

whom I dearly, dearly miss

Shared delicious fries with KallyRae

Hugged someone

Thought happy thoughts

Smiled

I live a happy life :)

Hurt.

I don't know how to deal with this.
I wish i did.

I wish life was simple.
Yet. We are cursed.
Physically and emotionally.

Cursed to experience pain, anger, dissapointment,
frustration, sadness, grief.

And yet through all the hurt emerges the ability to experience joy.
Happiness, laughter, pleasure, bliss.

For without one, cannot the other be experienced.

And for that, we must be grateful.
Grateful for all the trials and tribulations life throws at us.

Yet, even with this knowledge, I can not seem to find the joy in this.
The hurt is still there. Raw and strong.
May it be through the reconciliation?
The struggle to mend the way?
The final product?

What a wretched thing it is to feel.
And, yet, this is how we know we are still human.
Living, breathing humans.

"All that i know is i'm beathing.
All i can do is keep breathing"
-Ingrid

The Moon.

For those who lack knowledge in the astronomical field,
it is the big sphere that glows at night.
The beauty of it. Capitivating. Entrancing. Pure.

We have a very close connection. The moon and I.

It knows just about every secret I hold to be mine.

My thoughts. My hopes. My worries.

It helps me organize the clutter and chaos

I know as my thoughts.

My life.

How much clearer it is to think

when you're conversing with the moon.

Sometimes my sister and I

will wave at each other through it.

And know that we are there.

Seperated. But sharing the same view.

What a dear, dear friend. My lovely moon.

The Human.

What a fragile thing. Physically, mentally, emotionally.

It attempts to live a life of balance. Lest it throws off

its entire universe. Causing a crack in the foundation.

And the crumbling of its walls.

It can easily be broken. In all aspects.

Bone. Heart. Soul.

Yet the stress and trauma it can endure is fascinating.

The ability to pick itself up and begin again.

To move on. To learn. To grow. To achieve things

beyond one's imagination.

What smart creatures they have potential to become.

And yet, as much as it can endure, it takes only

a matter of a few seconds to take its life away.

The light. The feeling. The truth.

The wit and thoughts it once possessed.

Gone. Existing only in the matter of mere memories.