Dear Bike Thief.

as i lay in bed unable to fall asleep
i considered sneaking out
and going for a well-past-midnight bike ride.
but then i remembered.
you stole my bike.
you suck.

Aloha Oe.

OK.

so maybe the end of a school year in Hawaii deserves more than three words.

maybe.

5 days. 3 hours of sleep. and 4 [i'm ashamed to say] energy drinks later.

{actually that is a lie. last night was my first night of sleep this past week. it was heavenly.}

i finished the last of my finals for my freshman year.

i finished my first year of college.

I DID IT.

wow. it is still sinking in. but it will. sooner or later.

here's to a year of:

living on an island

mornings being woken up by roosters

days starting at 4 in the a.m.

creeping in the hales

spelunking at the secret jungle

{almost} weekly walks to the temple

living AC-less

hiking and beach trips

midnight trips to chevron

sleeping with the ants

2 hour long bus rides to town

being mocked by geckos

sunday dinners at sam's

bipolar weather

rooftop star gazings

cafeteria food

late night runs to foodland for icecream

prank war's

As much as I complained and whined, I will dearly miss this place and, most of all, my deardear friends.

It was a GREAT RIDE!

Aloha Oe Hawaii. Until we meet again.

LET THE SUMMER BEGIN!

HALLELUJAH!

i am DONE!

FINALS.

Not only are they the end of the semester,

but maybe my life too?

i feel like this fish.

Lady Gaga has nothing on her.

oh CHER.
deardear CHER.
my sister and i used to rock out to her songs practically every day.
we had dance moves and everything.
we were just that COOL of kids.

These were our FAVES:

brilliant.

Meet Pantouf.

he's my new {future} friend.

i'm so excited for all the grand adventures we'll have.

playing at the park, eating ice cream, reading the news paper, cuddling.

to mention a few.

5 hours and nothing done...

Procrastination.
you are a mean and vile thing. that you are.
so sneaky and disguised.
you always seem like an ok idea.
until times like now,
where i have two weeks to get everything done.
and still after sitting in front of a computer
for hours upon hours
i have succeeded in completing absolutely nothing.
i loathe.loathe.loathe you.
please go away and never come back.

truth be told.

We LOVE each other.

yumyumyum.

we kind of love otter pops.

and may have eaten a gazillion of them.

{note our colorful tongues}

Beautiful lessons.

Today's lessons at church were beautiful. I woke up not feeling the best and was ready to stay home. I'm so happy I didn't. The lessons I am able to take away from the talks and teachings are truly wonderful. It amazes me the countless time I have found these directly pertaining to me, individually. I'm so excited for next week's General Conference

{photo by KallyRae}

My darling sister Emily sent me this video today.

I'm so very glad she did.

Happy Sunday!

Sunset at Sunset.

As my days dwindle here in Hawaii, I'm taking in as much as I can.

{22 days. and counting.}

Favorite things about Hawaii:

#14- Prince Kuhio Day.

A purely Hawaiian holiday that the rest of the U.S. doesn't have the fortunate opportunity to celebrate and, seeing as I currently live here, I do. In other words...

NO SCHOOL.

{happyhappyhappy}

#27- Sunset at Sunset. {beach that is}.

on our lovely day off, we decided to take a grand adventure down to sunset beach to catch the sunset. while everyone else took The Bus down, i began this little expedition with a 10 mi bike ride. now, while 10 mi is little to nothing biking, it's quite exhilarating when the whole ride is on a highway. once reaching sunset, i found darling kailey, sam, angela, and kailey's BFF from home, shelby. kallyrae, caralee, and ashley were yet to be found... {they had a little bus scheduling mix up...}.

thinking that the waves would be just a touch too rough to swim in, i left the bathing suit and was in just shorts and a t-shirt. however, sam and angela didn't care and threw me into the water.secret be told... i'm glad they did. :). soon the rest of the posse joined us and weplayplayedand splashedsplashed and took underwater picture that will later be posted as soon as i get my hands on them. after all our splishingandsplashing , we ran to ted's {a must if you're ever in hawaii} to pick up a pie {chocolate haupia... yum!} and then ran back just in time for the sunset. it was beautiful. i lack the words to describe such magnificence. so i will post pictures. even when they themselves cannot wholly captivate such a breath taking scene.

i am so grateful i live in hawaii and often forget what a wonderful pace i live in. thankfully, i have these little experiences for constant reminders. as much as i bash you my dear little island, i do, oh so very much, love you.

also. remember how i rode my bike down? yea. riding on the highway. at night. when there are no street lights for the first seven miles. not one of my most brilliant ideas. but still super fun.

{peek-a-boo sun}

{6:48:21}

{6:49:42}

{6:50:10}

{goodnight mr. sun}

More pictures to come!

Notes to self.

{love this}

Jekyll & Hyde

Pre- M.S.

Present- M.S.

Post- M.S.

Which one is it?

None.

Bratty Lucy is on the prowl.

Sorry to those who fall victim to her.

She really doesn't mean it.

Secret Loves.

Getting woken up by roosters.

Black eyes. Bruises. Cuts. and Scrapes.

Venting to my pillow. Beating up my bed.

Handstands.

Hanging upside-down.

Being underwater. Pretending I have gills.

Listening to other people vent.

Blog stalking.

Dancing. And singing.

Talking to myself.

Waking up before the rest of the world.

Pretending I'm a character in a book.

Listening to my heart beat.

Playing make believe.

The Memories.

I often find myself,

walking, thinking.

When a memory hits me.

How they are triggered,

I have yet to discover.

But they come.

Memories.

Of baking heart shaped cookies,

only to have every one crumble to pieces.

Of feet hitting trail,

trees and brush passed by,

muscles burning,

enjoyment.

Of spinning,

faster, and faster,

and being flung into mud.

Of a midnight adventure,

to a track and a high jump mat,

and a lot of spooning.

Of swinging.

Letting go.

Flying.

Only to come to the knowledge,

that i am in fact not a bird,

but a girl, with a now very achy back.

Of blasting music,

a van full of screaming girls,

and a broken curfew.

Of a little island,

a large rock,

a ground covered in poky pine needles,

and a day of make believe.

Of hiding with my dog,

Of an attempt to running away,

Of 3x failure sneak out,

Of ding dong ditch,

Of past dreams and wishes.

How sweet these memories are.

With their wave of nostalgia.

And a longing in the heart.

My sister wonders.

How it is that I remember

such old memories.

Another mystery yet to be discovered.

But possibly an explanation

for my lack of

short term memory?

The Little Chef.

That would be Dani.
5' 2". 110 lbs.
With a bottomless stomach.

Can't find her.

Look in the kitchen.

She'll be there.

Whipping up one of her
Heavenly
concoctions.

If reincarnation existed,

Dani would be Julia Childs.

Julie just cannot compete

with this little master of the kitchen.

Unfortunately.
She is my neighbor.
This results in my constant services
as taste tester.

Diets.

You're a joke.

Obesity.

Here I come.

O Dani.
Why is your food
magic in the mouth?

Check her out here :)

The Fauxnami.

"She left her phone in our room"
"Huh? What's going on? Why are you guys awake?"

4 a.m.

I woke up to Shiri and Dani talking. Shiri had a game in Hilo (that was later cancelled). Dani had some news.
The news?
Chile had suffered an 8.8 earthquake.
We were under tsunami warning.

Perf.

Aside from my concern for those in Chile, I could not help but feel a bit of annoyance and excitement. How many people can say they have witnessed a tsunami. Yet, it was 4 in the a.m. Who wants to be up that early when this is one of two days a week she can sleep past that?

4:30

Oh. Hello Hale Mom.
"Sirens will be going off at 6.
Be ready with a packed bag and head to the lounge.
Don't panic."

I have always known there was something wrong with me. Panicking was the last thing I was thinking about. Rather, the fact that there was already an endless line outside of Foodland that would make for some memorable pictures. Unfortunately. The roomie was actually worried for my safety.

6:00 onward

The sirens went off. There was a meeting. A lot of "We're gonna die" "Let's party" screaming. Some banana bread, french toast making. Evacuation to the upper levels. News watching. Napping. Good reads.

The only thing that lacked was the actual tsunami.

I should be happy about this. I am. I am alive and well along with the rest of the Hawaiian islands.

I am beyond grateful that we weren't affected and hadn't suffered like Chile.

Yet, there is this little voice at the back of my mind that wishes it had been all it was made up to be.

This could be a result from the over-excitement, and hyped-up-ness.

Yet, relief is not the emotion washing over me.

Could we call it disappointment?

The big One Nine.

It's official.
Oy Vey.

Cold tiles. 58.

Peanut Butter is delicious.
However, eating after 8.
Tre no bueno.

The dust is making my nose runny.
I have to wake up in 3 hours for work.
My muscles (more like lack thereof) are tired.
Gecko.
Stop pooping on my walls.
Roomie. How I hope you got the plant you wanted.
My feet are cold.
Fishie Angela.
I forgot to take you out of the desk.
What a bad owner I am.
Running.
It needs to happen.

Enough.

Good night.

The Faces.

My father once asked me why it was I couldn't just make a normal face.
Well, father. It just makes everything that much more lively.

My uncle once asked me if I was capable of taking a normal picture,
apparently he had forgotten what I look like.
Well, uncle. Yes. I probably am.

But, why find out when I'm having so much fun flashing silly faces.

Cheerleading may be partially to blame.
Having "FACIALS!" drilled into your mind to the point
its constantly replaying in your mind
has quite the effect on a person.
Mine just went to a bit of an extreme.

Also, we can't forget that thing we all know as Angela.

Yeah. She may have rubbed off on me just a bit.

HORN_?_

"Sweet potato fries!"

I grab my order.

Head to the cashier.

Pay.

Begin to head out.

"Excuse me! What does your shirt say?"

A shocked voice calls out.

I turn to my right.

There's a guy looking at me.

"Is he talking to me?

I'm not wearing a shirt, I'm wearing a sweatshirt.

Why is he talking to me?

Maybe he knows where H is.

No. That couldn't possibly be it.

Why does he sound so horrified?

Who are you?"

These are the thoughts that run through my head.

"Excuse me?", I ask, confused at the shock in his voice.

"What does your shirt say?", he repeats.

"", I simply reply.

He replies back something, but after hearing the words

honor code violation

I stop listening.

I glance down.

My hair is covering the last three letters

What he saw: "HORN_?_ ".

Apparently it looks like a very naughty word.

wow. seriously?

The Procrastination.

Admit it.
We all do it.
Children and adults alike.

What a tempting little thing you are.

How I so love to give into you.

Up until the moments,

like this one,

where I have little

chance of completing my work.

Blast you.

4:28 PM

Marathons.
Cooking.
Interior Designing.

Why is it that I write in a blog?
Why is that it has become such a comfort to me?

It is the times that I take to stop, breathe, and forget the world, that I am reminded of what a wonderful place I live in.

R.I.P. Fishie Amber

Breath taking.

You know those moments.
Where music is so emotional.
It catches your breath.
And holds it hostage.
But you could care less.
For the music is so beautiful.
You'd be willing to die.
To drown within its melody.
Just to continue listening to the sweet notes play.

This is one of them:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xXtVBJDPs6k

Thank you John Schmidt. For, literally, taking my breath away.

The Witness.

There are a lot of parts to who i am.

There is the physical:
human. bone, flesh, blood, heart, muscle.

There is the mental:
brain. thoughts. torturous thoughts.

There is the emotional:
a jumbled mess. just happy to be alive.

There is the spiritual.

I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.

We are often recognized and known as the Mormons. However, people often misinterpret what we believe in and stand for. So, I write to testify, to bear witness, of the truth.

I know that my Heavenly Father lives and loves me. I know that His Son, my Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ, willingly came to earth so that He could atone for our sins. I know that He loved me enough to die for me, so that I may one day be saved and return to live with my Heavenly Father. I know that He loves me and knows me personally. I know that He is there to comfort me and lift my burdens. He knows my troubles and my fear. He knows what i take joy and happiness in. He knows me.

I know that Joseph Smith was a true prophet of God and restored the living gospel. I know that, through God, he was able to translate the Book of Mormon, and return to us what was once lost.

I know that the Book of Mormon is another testament of Jesus Christ. I know that it holds His teachings and bears witness of Him. I know that it is true along with the Bible and other doctrines of the Church.

I know that President Thomas S. Monson is the true and living prophet and receives direct revelation from God.

I believe in the commandments, principles, and standards of the Church. I believe that it is by these guidelines that I am able to live a happier life.

I truly believe, with all my heart, in the power of prayer and repentance. Without either, I would be unable to endure many life's trials.

I believe in the ability to have an eternal family. Through righteous living and the sealing of the Church, I will be able to keep and live with my family for all eternity.

I believe that this is the one true Church and am so grateful to have it in my life.

I bear witness of these things in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.



One of my favorite hymns: http://www.lds.org/churchmusic/detailmusicPlayer/index.html?searchlanguage=1&searchcollection=1&searchseqstart=136&searchsubseqstart= &searchseqend=136&searchsubseqend=ZZZ= &searchseqend=136&searchsubseqend=ZZZ

The Saver of Lives.

Giving blood makes my heart happy.
Knowing that someone will be saved, thanks to this precious red liquid that runs through my veins, gives me fuzzy feelings inside.
Now, if I can only learn how to walk through solid objects, my life might be complete.

The Doodling.

So, I've come to the realization that I have wasted unnecessary amounts of money throughout my life which has inadvertently led to the wasting of my time and my lack of knowledge.

Each year at the beginning of a new semester I buy a notebook for each class. When I buy these notebooks I make a commitment to do better this year, promising myself that this will be a new beginning, I won't spend countless hours in which I should be paying attention to my studies doodling, practicing my cursive, writing down lyrics, drawing masterpieces, etc, etc.

However, there comes a point in time when I just can't take it anymore. My ears can't take the droning, my mind is exploding with distracting thoughts, and my fingers are itching to do something other than taking notes. Eventually, I'll give into myself letting the ink flow on paper releasing the torturous thoughts of my mind.


At the end of the semester, I go back, look at my notebooks, and what do I find? The same thing I find every year. Everything but class notes.

Each of these is usually one of those 5 subject notebooks. Costing, lets say $3-4. That times 6-7 classes equals $18-28. With two semesters every year that's close to say $50.


So not only have I wasted precious money that could have gone to other necessities of a poor college student but I have also deprived myself of knowledge and time in which i could have learned the material rather than trying to cram what I missed the night before a test.


In conclusion, maybe the best thing would be to cease buying these thought releasers. I mean I have a laptop and there is now such things as Google docs.


Yes. This is the best decision.


But o how I will miss my mind-drain.

The Birthday Suit.

Yesterday, after having taken a shower, I walked back to my room to find the door shut and locked. The wind had blown it closed and my key was inside. For an hour and a half, I knew what it was like to live with a toga as my only form of clothing.

It was different to say the least. I'm not usually one to lay around in a towel for long periods of time. But, I must say, other than the fact that I was locked out of my room, the experience was quite enjoyable. I began to realize why it is that children run away and tear off their clothing and proceed to run around buck naked. Not going to lie, the Greeks had it when it came to living free. Not that I don't like my clothing, but, if I had the option, I would roam the lands in just a toga.

Unfortunately for me, there were men doing maintenance in the courtyards and the honor code doesn't really care if you're locked out with just a towel wrapped around you, I was not to be seen, which meant I couldn't leave. Another downer, noone could find an RA. So, I was stuck in my teeny little hall with nothing to do but contemplate life and split ends. At one point, one of the workers came to work in the bathrooms and passed me in the hallway. He paused. We made eye contact. He gave me a weird look. I looked at him in "well-what-do-you-suggest-I-do" way. And he walked on. I'd like to think this was a no-awkward situation. But lets be real. These are mormons and I was wrapped in a towel. Fortunately for me, my dear ol' roomie arrived and saved the day.

The Beginning.

And so it has begun.

Another semester.

Another beginning.

New faces.

New classes.

New teachers.

New places.

New books.

New paper.

New theories.

New times.

And through all this new, we look for something familiar. Some support to help us through the shock.

But I cannot lie. I am quite ecstatic for all this newness thrown at me.